2004-07-08 - 5:51 p.m.
Today we had this chinese compo test and i jus suck at it. I tink it's the worst compo test i've ever done. serious. damn. it was of my p4 standard. yep it was that bad. I think my vocabulary of english and chinese are not that strong as mum always tells me. Gotta study more vocabulary words. Gotta have that fire igniting in me. That fire to spur me on no matter what difficulties i face. Then, wif a positive attitude, i'll accomplish all my dreams. yah ok. if everyone can do it, so can i!
well. enough of the accademics stuff. I believe if i could only stay focus... and put in alot more of effort, it will be a success. ok. I'm facing friendship problems again. Just as i thought that it was jus a minor setback in my life, i realised that it jus contradicts. everything was on the contrary to what i've anticipated. I'm such a loser. Everything jus turns out bad when i'm wif fiona. I'm in a terrible state... so terrible i can't make my decisions. Elise and lynette started to ignore me. Initially, i could take it, or rather, i THINK i ould take it. But towards the end of skool, my eyes jus welled up wif tears, as the more i thought of this matter, the more i felt like crying.
Luckily, i've still got some frens by my side to comfort me. but oh well, lynette's a popular girl and obviously she has more frens than me. yep. well, that... i can't help it, can i? anyway, it doesn't benefits me. No matter what happens, i won't hate them. Hating them won't solve the problem and I don't see any reason i have to hate them. They wanna ignore me, i can't help it. It's their decisions and no one can stop them.
Now, going home alone is a very common thing. haix. I took 10 today and it was so freaky. There were lotsa ppl frm St. Pats, Chai Chee and Temasek. and apparently.. it jus suck. St pats ppl were flinging vulgarities as usual, Chai Chee ppl still stink, as in they really stink... literally. But temasek ppl not that bad lah. Heard they even went to parkway. haix. it's ok lah.
I'm not at the extent of saying that my life sux. well, it's the truth... my life dun suck. it's jus how i live my life. hahaz. yea and today during recess, lena shouted .ahem. sumthing into my puny ears and i was like OoII! haha. I could still rmb that gleeful look on her angelic face. haha. I couldn't avenge for that coz i was still in a queue to buy spaghetti.
I'm sick and tired of it. It referring to ppl calling me kimmy's fren. It jus sounds so... spine-chilling? ha! no la. it jus sounds weird. VERY weird. like I dun haf a proper name like that. haix. what to do? jus cope wif it lor. whatever they say, jus keep mum and agree lor.
Rest in the assurence and care of the Lord, for he doesnt wish for his children to worry about their daily affairs, but want them to live a life at rest. Let God take care of the worries and concerns. Let go & let God.
Just find it meaningful. No other intentions k.
Thou shalt resist. Thou shalt overcome it wif grit. Thou shalt fill u in about what happened at the edge last saturday. yep. i've jumped. thx to Lynette and Lena.
think i better go to sleep now. or else, i'll start my yawning tml morning. YAWN! i always cannot concentrate in class becoz of my constant yawning. quite irksome at times. haha.
