I dun miss lynette at all.

today, i had to collect lorraine's file from sembawang. Julia, who's supposed to go to my house for piano, and elise agreed to tag along. Great. i was delirious at that time. After skool, we had to go for a science exhibition made by the sec 2s. It was pretty cool. But i didn't learn anything from it. i didn't even have time to understand and to look at all the other exhibits. haix. coz elise had to leave soon. what a waste.

ok. so i decided to leave. but prior to that, i remembered fiona telling me that she needs money to go home. I'd promised to provide her wif the money. Apparently, i didn't wanna go back on my words. So, i waited for her. coz she said she didn't wanna b biased, wanna see the other exhibits then vote for the top 3. Therefore, inspite of all the persuasion of julia and elise to go home wif them, I insisted on waiting for fiona.

As I've expected, they had a sour look on their face. They appeared to be sullen infront of me. But the both of them were kinda complaining about it to each other. Later, Fiona told them that she's going to my house... which is not true... AT ALL. aiyo. she said it will benefit me. hiyo. and jus becoz of that julia got pissed off i guess. hiya. So basically, Julia and elise were toking to each other and i'm left wif fiona.

What I find very appalling for that day was when we reached parkway, Julia and elise didn't alight. Fortunately, Fiona decided to go wif me. phew. at that time when i was at the busstop, julia stuck out her tongue. I was stupefied. I felt a little angry. But after a while, I'd realised that I was actually not angry. I was very... um... dismay. When i was crossing the overhead bridge, I thought about it. I felt an excruciating pain in my heart. I felt as if there was a stone stuck at my throat and i couldn't swallow it. But i never hated them. I knew they had a reason. But at that point of time, I jus couldn't figure what that reason could be. really. hm. ok. fiona helped me asked the shopkeeper for lorraine's file and he was like... $50. haha. jus that gesture of his. I felt better. sumtimes, i jus envy fiona...

Envy her for being able to cope even if almost the whole class was dissing her. Even she was all alone at times... She was able to overcome it. Able to be independent. She has the confidence that I definitely need. Her tantalising confidence. haix.

When i came home... Julia vindicated about everything. I was rite. She had a reason. I wasn't angry wif her. I won't be. haix.

So... it was another mahjong session for my mum and my two aunties. yep. and i had to bring and fetch jolene from tuition centre. When I went to fetch her, i realised she was not there yet. So i sat on this green and comfy green bench alone, trying to do sum reflections and stuff. I looked up and saw this Lynn tuition centre. I thought of lynette. I felt like crying but i couldn't. I had to bear in mind that i was in the public. haix. Jus as emotions was beggining to engulf me, jus as all the grim thoughts were beginning to go around my head sinuous and jus when that kind of the demonic me, groaned wif malice and the angelic me scenario was starting to give me a headache, causing me to be in a turmoil, my sister came out from the tuition centre and punctuated and ceased everything. haix. i shouldn't think too much. oh well, I'm jus paranoid. Paranoid that i would lose my bestest best fren. haix.

wow. i haven't practise my trumpet since the last 2 weeks!! i bet i can't even blow it. haix. i need to practise. I need to complete the chart. hiyoi. so tedious. I'll start smelling metallic again. I jus loathe it. ack. so sick leh the smell. oh yah. I need to find the time to polish it too. WOW. what a wordy essay man. think i better stop typing. byeeee. but before i go i jus wanted to include this in this post...

Little drops of rain, whisper of the pain, tears of love lost in the days gone by.

I lost myself in sorrow, I lost myself in pain.

Misery is all i felt.